Found in Assisi

When I was asked to write a Thought for the Week, I had to think for a while and then chose “genuineness.” Genuineness, which I feel again and again when I am in Assisi in Italy … caring for goat poop, cleaning the storm drain, or wandering through the alleys of the medieval town.

I found Assisi by chance – or did Assisi find me?

A few years ago, I was in the most difficult financial situation of my life. And I made a decision that changed everything.

“If I do this now, if I take this job now, then that’s it. With my freedom, my wishes, my dreams.” These thoughts ran through my mind one winter day. I stood outside a café in Hamburg, about to apply for a job as a waitress. My second part-time job to make ends meet financially as a self-employed person in these times. I had my hand on the doorknob. Along with a feeling of inner resistance. I couldn’t go in. But what was the reason for my hesitation? I sat alone on the café terrace for half an hour. Wrapped in my winter coat, thinking about what I truly wanted – something completely different from my life so far. I wanted to see the world, capture moments, have adventures. Just recently, I stumbled upon St. James’s Church Piccadilly and felt a longing to be part of it, to belong. But I also thought about what it would take to maintain my current lifestyle. I couldn’t do both, no matter how hard I would try. And then it became crystal clear: “Not one more day!” I didn’t want to put my dreams aside any longer. I didn’t want to be trapped in the hamster wheel, in functioning. Oh, I loved all my jobs, all my activities. But maybe I’d lost myself? Worn out by doing and “achieving”? There were no rational answers in that moment. Just a feeling. “Enough is enough, I don’t want to do this anymore.”

I went home – without a new part-time job. I had made my decision and soon left behind everything that had seemed important: possessions, friends, a sense of security. I used to live in an exclusive flat. I had been a board member of a business network that hosted amazing events in Hamburg. My carefully chosen furniture – all sold or given away. I moved back into my childhood bedroom at my parents’ house.

It was a painful, challenging process. But today, I’m truly happy with the decision. Above all, I discovered freedom. The freedom to explore, to follow my passions and desires. Something I hadn’t experienced in over 25 years of working.

Like St James’s Church Piccadilly, I found Assisi by chance – shortly after my big cut. A small goat farm in Umbria where I could work for room and board. My first time there was tough: cultural differences (oh, Italians can be so loud and short-tempered – and the next moment, it’s forgotten; a challenge for me as a German), hard physical work, and a lack of recognition. Cleaning goat poop, gardening, helping around the house and vacation rentals were part of my job. One day, in 40-degree heat, I spent hours clearing the storm drain next to the gravel road. Heavy rain was forecast, and a flooded driveway would cut us off from nearby Assisi. And sweating, with dirty hands, my phone beeped: an offer to buy Instagram followers. It was a surreal moment—real life with very real worries and problems on the goat farm, vs. virtual success through likes, views, and follower count. I suddenly understood what truly matters, what true fulfilment is. Since then, I’ve been asking myself in almost everything I do: Does it feel real? Does it touch me? Deep down inside? Or am I just chasing success because I want to keep up with the oh-so-successful people? People who present themselves like a glossy brochure and who make me feel inadequate.

For me, what some might call God means “life itself.” And “life itself”, to me, is deeply sensual. Smelling summer hay, lavender on the terrace, or the scent of cypress forests; tasting homemade goat cheese, olives, and red wine after an exhausting day; hearing the chirping of crickets or a concert at 6 a.m. in front of St. Francis’s Basilica; feeling the goat fur, the stones of the centuries-old buildings in Assisi, or the muscles in my buttocks after the many steps up to the medieval fortress of Rocca Maggiore; and seeing the vast Umbrian landscape, or the beautiful frescoes of St. Francis. All of it deeply real. Not to mention the genuine connections to the local people. The bond with the farmer that grew over time. A friendship with the cleaning lady where conversation means hugs, laughter, and hand gestures, since I don’t speak Italian (yet) and she doesn’t speak German or English. Affection, free from expectation.

I return to Assisi regularly. Its genuineness has guided me through many challenges: When I was stuck in expectations or focused once again on what wasn’t working. Assisi grounds me and brings back strength, clarity, and a sense of what truly matters.

As your Thought for the Week, I invite you to bring more “genuineness” into your everyday life. Notice what feels truly real for you – maybe with a child, a pet, at work or even in a quiet moment alone. Each evening, write down three moments that felt genuine during the day. You might be surprised by what you discover.